Monday, April 14, 2008

The Goddess

She felt like a queen. Pampered… spoilt and loved. Like never before. It was the best days of her life. She was never pampered like this ever before. All her demands were met and all her prayers answered. She slept on a flowerbed, walked on petals. She was the centre of attraction wherever she went.

Her life had changed. For the first time in her life, she looked at herself in the mirror and didn’t bother about the amount of weight she had put on; on her face, arms, and the maximum, on her belly. She moved her hands slowly on the curve of her belly and felt full of life. She felt like a goddess. She felt like a woman. For the first time in her life. She knew she had lived her life for this one moment. For this one emotion that just passed her heart. For this one unexpected smile, that touched her lips, for this one second of womanhood… of divinity… of godliness.

She knew she was capable of doing anything she wanted. She knew she could rule the world. She knew she could make impossible, possible. It took her 28 long years to feel like a woman. To feel like a goddess. To feel like this.

She could feel a heart beating inside her belly, legs moving, hands uncurling... she could feel a life.

How can I tell her that it’s over? That it’s a reality and not a bad dream. That the baby is over. Finished”

The doctors have said it’s over Ankit… they say the baby has stopped breathing… his heart has stopped… they don’t know how, why, when… but they say it’s finished… but they say Amrita needs to be operated… how will I ever tell her… she will never live after that… she will die Ankit… she will just die… I can’t afford to lose her… I can’t…” I can’t cry… he will think I am weak.

I know… I know Saurabh… relax… just calm down… don’t tell Amrita yet… let them operate on her and then we can tell her… let’s just take her to the hospital…” I don’t know what to say.

She was still smiling, lying on the operation table. She could see some sadness in Saurabh’s eyes, from across the glass cabin. She knew he could never handle the sight of her lying on an operation bed… but she could also see the joy in his body language… or is it restlessness?

The moment never died. They looked at each other, through the glass door. She was smiling, he smiled back. It was a moment that will never come back.

He knew it. He had lost his child. She knew it. She will be a mother once she wakes up.

She woke up slowly… eyelids heavy… vision, blurred. Slowly she came back to reality. She smiled. Her eyes moved restlessly and finally rested on Saurabh. He had tears in his eyes. He came and sat next to her on the bed. She began to get worried now… she just wanted to catch one glimpse of her child. She just wanted to hold her child in her arms.

That’s when she heard him cry. A cry she always wanted to hear. Saurabh was surprised at what he saw.

Amrita took the child in her arms. She was a mother. She looked at Saurabh. He was still crying.

He wanted to smile. But he was crying.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Coins

He stood there staring at the reflection of a coin lying at the dashboard of the car. It was a 5 rupee coin. His lips formed a smile. A smile that was sad. He shifted his gaze to the man sitting on the driver's seat and kept looking at him... without blinking. The man was looking elsewhere.

The reflection kept wavering just like the ray of hope in the kid's heart. He knew this was it. All his prayers would be answered. A dream would come true in less than 20 secs now. 19 secs... 18 secs and the signal would turn green and the vehicle will move away. Forever. He knew that if the driver looked at him just once, the coin would be his. 15 secs. 14 secs.

With great courage he tried to touch the reflection. He knew the moment his little palm feels the reflection, it would be a moment of result. Yes or No. 9 secs.

His palm moved slowly towards the reflection and finally they met. He was right. It was a moment of result. 3 secs... 2 secs ...

The car began to move. It was over. That was when the driver saw him. Their eyes met. It was a moment of result. A moment that will never come back. A moment that lasted... for ever.

The man behind the wheel was brought back to reality by the merciless horns from all around. He didnt have the time to react. The car moved away.

He stood there staring at the traffic light. Waiting for it to turn red. Yet again.

Tasveer

Teri aankhon ne banayi thhi jo tasveer,

Uss se thha bas ek gila,

Khoobsurat to thhi behad,

Par uss mein main na thha.


Umr beet gayi chehron mein rang bharte-bharte,

Lekin wo chehra mera na thha.

Teri aankhon ne ...

Ek pal mein har pal ka hisaab,

maang leti hai zindagi,

Afsos mere paas bahikhata na thha.

Teri aankhon ne ...

Tasveer ka har chehra maayoos sa lagta hai,

Ya shayad ye manzar meri aankhon ka thha

Teri aankhon ne ...

Rang tere chehre ka zara aankhon mein bhar loon,

zamaane beete, inn mein se lahu baha na thha.

Teri aankhon ne ...